The best thing about Coors beer is that you can swallow it.
It’s the cheapest beer in New York City, which means that most people in New York City think that Coors is utter shit.
It is. This beer probably has a flavor, but I have long since desensitized myself to it. When I drink Coors anymore, I just taste a generic beer flavor. After a few cans, I don’t taste anything.
But I love Coors. I love Coors because it comes in 24oz cans for $1.25 at most bodegas in outlying boroughs, which means that it has more beer for less money than a 40oz bottle of Miller High Life for $2.50. If you’re doing the math–and, dammit, this is a recession we’re living in–that’s cheaper.
Aside from the price, Coors doesn’t have a whole lot more going for it.
Not long ago, Budweiser sponsored an ad campaign with a simple tagline: DRINKABILITY. Roughly, Budweiser was advertising the fact that people are able to swallow their beer. Coors has had no such ad campaign. Unlike other terrible beers like Pabst Blue Ribbon or Miller, Coors doesn’t claim that their beer is good. They don’t even claim, like Budweiser, that you won’t retch while clutching your stomach upon pouring some of their foul liquid into your mouth.
The company probably knows how bad it is.
Instead, Coors hired a bunch of rocket scientists to invent a beer can that changes color based on how cold its contents are. There is a mountain on every Coors can. If the can is cold enough, the mountain will turn blue. This is the basis for their latest ad campaign.
I have mostly found this temperature indicator to be irrelevant, as Coors tastes about the same no matter how warm or flat it is.
But I will continue drinking Coors. Mostly because it’s cheap and I have taught myself how to swallow it.